Spirituality from the

Beach Chair!

What does humor have to do with weddings? With us it's everything! While I promise not be a comedian at your wedding (I can't remember jokes to save my life...), we do strongly believe that humor and laugher are a big part of love- that fun and relaxing wedding ceremonies are the best way for you both to connect with each other at a level that is human, simple, and memorable!

You might also ask how we could put a page such as this on a wedding website! Well, since we don't concern ourselves with looking slick and professional, why not? And we want you to understand something important about us.... we love life and love to laugh! So read on and try not to let your boss catch you snickering!

WORDS TO LIVE BY

Accept that some days you're the seagull, and some days you're the dock piling.  

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

When reading in your beach chair, always read stuff that will make you look good incase you get washed out to sea in the middle of your book.

Eat a live clam in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't surf well. Just get up and surf.

The early clam gets eaten by the seagull, so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

"Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my car, encasing me inside and leaving me to slowly fall into an oxygen-deprived coma, from which I awaken five years later to find my wife remarried to my best friend. But then I think maybe I'm just being paranoid, because what are the odds of *that* happening again?"
-Jack Handy

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
 

"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat."
-Albert Einstein

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"Sure, your guilt might force you to vote Democrat, but secretly deep down inside you long for the Republicans to lower your taxes, ignore the poor, brutalize prisoners, dictate what goes on in your bedrooms and rule you with an iron fist."
-Sideshow Bob

"Sanity is a one trick pony -- all you have is rational thought. But when you're good and loony, the sky's the limit!"
-The Tick

"Faith is when you believe something that you know ain’t true."

Last words not to live by...

Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.

Quick, they'll never find us if we hide here.

Don't worry, it's not used any more.

Step back a bit, I can't get you in the picture.

So they finally fixed this elevator yesterday?

Listen, I'm taking a course in chemistry, I know what I'm doing.

Yes of course the elastic is strong enough.

It's ok so long as you stay down-wind.

Nah, that fuel gauge often gets stuck on empty.

I thought it tasted rather strange.

Please fasten your seatbelts, we're about to enter some turbu...

Well *I've* never seen one that big.

Darling, did you remember to turn off the gas?

Gee, what a cute little Pit Bull.

You have driven this before, haven't you?

And that one over there, the red flashing one, what does that mean?

Well I think you should *tell* him just how you feel.

I've never had one of these fail to open before.

Look how was *I* supposed to know it was upside down?

Are you sure they don't mind you taking their honey?

Say, what's that faint ticking noise?

It's ok, I saw them do it on TV.

Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.

Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there.

What happens if you touch these two wires together?

Don't worry, it's not loaded.

They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.

You can make it easy... that train isn't coming fast.

Gimmee a match. I think my gas tank is empty.

Step on her, boy, we're only going 75.

Just watch me dive from that bridge.

If you knew anything, you wouldn't be a traffic cop.

Lemme have that bottle; I'll try it.

Say, who's boss of this joint, anyhow?

C'mon ya wimps, one more beer, it's open ocean out there, what're we gonna hit?" --Captain Hazelwood, Exxon Valdez

Luke, I lied. Bill Shatner is your real father. --Darth Vader

And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 2000, I'll never have to worry about -- beeeeeeeep...

No, dude, this stuff is completely natural and safe, man. That's why it's called 'herbal.'


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